SAUDADE = missing.
Every story has a beginning, middle, and an end. However, this story doesn’t follow these patterns because its end is far from being achieved. The experience that I’m here to describe had a complicated beginning, but crucial to develop who I’m today. 2014 was a year of many surprises. I was doing an internship, living the life I thought it was the perfect one, and getting the news I was selected to study abroad with full scholarship. I couldn’t describe my emotions. It was a mixture of happiness, anxiety, and sadness. I felt sad for missing my family, close friends, and someone special. It’s funny how life works and teaches us a lot. From some distance relationships doomed to end to the perfect relationship. I have the opportunity to write this article analyzing and sharing some of my experiences.
People say nothing is by chance. They also say every challenge in our lives is necessary to our own grow. Despite the mysticism, from every place I could live, the town I was sent to study abroad is no doubt the main responsible for reconstructing my own paradigms. When people ask where I studied, they always ignore the name of the small town, and they focus on the State of California, thinking in San Francisco, Los Angeles, and San Diego. However, that small town that none ever heard about it is almost a Utopia without prejudices. Besides an enviable landscape, Arcata is a small town that changes yours life conceptions, showing that being who you are is more important than anything else. Of course living in a paradise like that, I had the opportunity to meet awesome people, some just cross by our lives teaching us something, others remain in our hearts.
In the moment I thought everything was perfect, I was enjoying some time with my close friends during my last months in the US, life surprised me again. October 20, 2015, a regular Tuesday, that started like the other ones, surprised by an unexpected message, and an unusual meeting. For who was used to meet people at bars and parties, finding someone at your school during the day was a big step (and weird). After all, so many bad experiences in the past where people act differently at parties when compared to their daily behavior, where good talks after some drinks transformed in an embarrassing silence. Shock. This was the feeling I had on our date, with smart talks and an overwhelming charisma, I discovered a strong (and pure) connection to that guy, in a way, I never thought I could find. People say that relationships between different cultures are hard; however, “hard” never applied to us. The more we knew each other, closer we got to each other. After all, the only guy I wanted to replace my serious relationship status with my Nutella bowl was him.
It’s funny to say that our relationship started as a distance relationship since the beginning since he used to live in a city three hours away from mine. Thus, distance was never an obstacle to us; on the contrary, I believe that distance made us enjoy our time together in a more intense way. Then, imagine this equation: two intense people that don’t add barriers to the relationship who decided to live the moment without restrictions = Sugar, spice, and everything nice. Affection, respect, trust, friendship, and love are the keys to our relationship that grown in a wonderful way. For many three hours by car is a lot, for us, it was always worth it to cross. Currently, those three hours by car become eighteen hours by airplane to see each other, and, even though, nothing can stop us to see each other.
Of course, at first moment, a long distance relationship between two different countries gave us goose pumps. The experience was similar to ride on a rollercoaster, where the fear of the unknown affects us and the satisfaction of finishing the ride at the end fill us happiness. It wouldn’t be right saying that things between us didn’t change because I would be lying. Our relationship strengthens and it’s growing in ways we never thought it was possible.
I already heard many of my friends saying they can’t go to certain places or they get isolated by being in a relationship. Personally, I think these situations are too sad because trust is the key to any relationship, mainly on distance. Do not deprive yourself to the world. After all, a couple doesn’t limit it, it enriches.
Talking is crucial. Many couples get apprehensive when one of them wants to discuss their relationship. I had the same feeling in the past, but I’m happy to share that the opportunity to be vulnerable and express your feelings and deepest thoughts to someone who will listen to you without judging is by far the most satisfactory feeling you can get in your life. A relationship is a partnership between two best friends willing to give their best and always try to understand each other.
Today, I’m a long distance relationship (until I graduate), living a life without restrictions. I’m thankfully by the opportunity to meet someone I’m proud of hold his hand and walk side by side.
Author: Wilson França.